


Call Your Wife (tell her it's over please)

by auroraphilealis (athousandrosepetals)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Affairs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13274835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandrosepetals/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: Phil doesn’t know how he ended up in a relationship with a married man, but he did, and the day Dan leaves his wife… well, Phil doesn’t know if it’ll ever come.





	Call Your Wife (tell her it's over please)

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.
> 
> Before I left the PFC, the group decided to do a Secret Santa, and though we had to postpone a few times, and I struggled to feel up to writing, I still managed to create something that I hope will make my person incredibly happy. It reflected what I thought they would personally enjoy, and therefore, I really hope you enjoy this fic Phantom (etoilesdephan)! I hope that you know just how much you mean to me, and though we don’t always get to spend time together, I love you with all my heart. I hope that your holidays were as good as they could be, and that the new year treats you right <3

It happened way too fast for Phil to even realize what was happening; a whirlwind romance that didn’t even make any sense, because Phil knew that it was wrong. Dan Howell was not his. Dan Howell had a wife, and while they’d both decided not to have any kids, Phil had to keep reminding himself that Dan had a _family_ , and that if he kept doing this, he was going to destroy every last inch of it.

But he couldn’t stop. It was too hard to stop when Dan’s hands were on him, sliding down his skin in a caress as soft as silk, mouth wet and full of heat against his, trailing kisses down his jawline and down over his neck in a way that made Phil’s body sing. The way their bodies connected made it all the better, Dan’s hips a soft but sure weight against his, always strong but gentle in the way he pounded into Phil on the bed, or supple and soft when Phil pressed Dan down into the pillow and took him for once.

Still, the guilt was never ending, overwhelming, seeping over Phil’s skin like a brand, burning him until he thought the whole world could see what he was; a homewrecker, an adulterer, the very man the bible called a whore. He hated himself, on those days when it got to be too much, but everytime he picked up his phone to cut it off with Dan, he found himself unable to, staring at the smiling picture of his best friend, his lover, in his contact info, and wanting nothing more than to hold onto him for every last second that he would get.

Because one day, Dan would be gone, and there would be nothing Phil could do about it.

How had Phil ever even gotten into a situation such as this? Sometimes, he didn’t know. Sometimes, he stared at himself in the mirror and wondered why he’d let it happen, and then he’d think about the way Dan used to look at him - _still_ looked at him - and how it had made Phil’s heart sing. The first time it had done that flippy over thing, Phil had been devastated to realize that Dan wore a wedding ring, and he’d torn his gaze away from Dan in an effort to end this crush before it began.

But it was too late, because Dan liked him back, and Phil didn’t know how to stop when Dan was right there pushing back. It started with dates that weren’t dates, and too many nights spent over at each other’s houses - mostly Phil’s - watching old anime reruns and eating snacks on the sofa until they both fell asleep. Sometimes they played video games, doing their best to kick each other’s asses, and working together on some occasions. Dan brought over his favorite video games and forced Phil to enjoy them with him, and Phil found himself falling, falling, _falling_ , until Dan leaned over one day and kissed him.

“We can’t,” Phil had whispered, eyes wide as he stared up at Dan, hovering over him with a look of smoldering desire in his eyes, but Dan had merely shook his head and kissed Phil again, and Phil had given in.

Phil always gave in, even when Dan undressed him carefully and casually in the midsts of his own home while his wife was away, taunting her, begging them to be caught, pushing Phil down on his wife’s bed and taking him like Phil was the most gorgeous person in the entire world. Phil always gave in, even when Dan shoved him into closets at work and sucked dark bruises into his neck so the whole world would know that Phil was his, even when on one could ever _truly_ know the bruises came from Dan.

Phil even gave in when Dan snuck him off on secret retreats disguised as events for work all in the name of a romance that Phil didn’t want, and he hated himself for every stolen moments in hotel bedrooms while Dan fucked him or let Phil fuck him deep into the mattress and whispered stolen “I love you’s’” that Phil could never truly believe.

And it was hard. Every day that passed by was harder than the last, every lie something that Phil almost couldn’t stomach, and when Dan came by some days with marks on his back that Phil hadn’t left, it hurt. It hurt, but he didn’t say a word as Dan laid him down and begged Phil to replace those marks with marks of his own, painting Phil in the scent of Dan’s wife as if he didn’t understand just how much it hurt for Phil. Afterwards, Dan would level Phil with kisses and promise Phil eternity, a beautiful lie that one day, one day, Dan would leave Kate and they would be happily ever after together.

An impossibility that Phil couldn’t face.

So it hurt, it hurt every second that Phil spent in Dan’s company, and yet Dan couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t, because Dan was his, and if there was one thing Phil knew, it was that he belonged wholeheartedly to Dan Howell, and no one could replace him in Phil’s world.

**

Phil placed his luggage down in the far corner of the hotel room the moment that he and Dan stepped in, toeing off his shoes as he went through the same motions that he always went through when he and Dan went on “vacation.”

They were in Hawaii this time, Dan’s connections having gotten them the most beautiful of beautiful views from their front window, the sky and the sea below them stretching out to what seemed like eternity. Phil’s mouth was set in a grim line, though, the way it always was when Dan made Phil sneak away with him so they could sleep together with abandon, hiding but not hiding their affair. He knew that Dan would smooth it away with sweet kisses and wonderful lies in a moment, but for now, Phil could do nothing but force himself to take the punishment he deserved - the constant reprimand of his own mind that Dan was not his, that Phil was taking someone who was not his.

“Hey,” Dan whispered, taking Phil’s hand in his the moment that Phil was done emptying his pockets on the hotel bedside table. Phil’s body went limp under Dan’s touch, and he allowed himself to be turned and pulled into Dan’s arms in an instant.

“Hey,” Phil repeated back softly, staring up into dark brown eyes that smoldered with emotion that Phil could never truly read. Did Dan really love him? Phil didn’t know. He never knew. But he chose to believe the lie because he had to, because he loved Dan more than he’d ever loved anyone else in the world.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Dan said, leaning in close to press a soft, open mouthed kiss to Phil’s lips, his tongue skirting over plush pink lips. Phil sighed, and leaned into the kiss, opening up his own mouth to let Dan in, and savoring the taste of Dan on his tongue.

“Is that right?” Phil asked back when Dan pulled away, eyes having fluttered close and hands having reached up to bunch in the fabric of Dan’s work shirt.

“Yeah,” Dan replied, and kiss Phil again, his hands deft as he worked to undo the buttons of Phil’s shirt, pushing the sides from Phil’s shoulders until the fabric slipped to the floor and left Phil’s pale chest exposed and ready for Dan’s mouth and his hands to travel all over him. “But it’s not this,” Dan added after one more kiss, pulling back and ignoring Phil’s pitiful whine as he was made to stop touching Dan.

He didn’t understand. Dan had never _not_ fucked Phil the moment they got inside, trying desperately to make the frown disappear from his lips, to show Phil that he “loved” him and that this trip was for them.

Phil didn’t know what to do with himself now that Dan had pulled away.

It had been a year now, of this. A whole year of sneaking around a guilt. A year of patterns and routines that Phil was comfortable with.

Still, tense as he was, and unsure, Phil allowed Dan to pull away and watched as his lover turned, shoulders tense, to face away. Suddenly, dread was pooling in Phil’s stomach, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what this surprise was.

Then Dan turned, his hands fumbling in the pockets of his trousers, and he dropped down to one knee.

Phil’s jaw dropped open.

“Philip Michael Lester,” Dan said, his eyes strong and sure, his hands trembling as he pulled a black, satin box from his pocket, “I told you over and over again that I was going to leave my wife for you, and I know that never once did you believe me.”

Phil started to shake his head, confused. He knew what Dan was doing, what this position meant, but he didn’t understand what was going on. What Dan meant by this. He was _married_ , and despite the constant complaining about his wife, hadn’t once given Phil the impression that he was actually going to leave her.

Did Dan want to “marry” Phil too, somehow? Make this official in the only way he could, forcing Phil to stay with him, while he kept his wife too?

“Shh,” Dan said, voice soft and sure, drawing Phil’s attention back to him. “Shh, love. Just listen. I know you’ve never once believed that I would divorce Kate, and I don’t blame you for that. I started this relationship with you in the wrong way, and I never should have made you party to an affair with me. But I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to be with you more than I’d ever wanted anything in the world, and I couldn’t wait. But it’s officially been two years since I married Kate, and it’s now been two weeks since we filed for divorce.”

The words dropped on Phil’s head like a bomb, and he felt his legs give out as he fell to his knees in front of Dan, eyes wide and mouth open in astonished awe that this was actually happening. Dan’s eyes reflected such sure confidence that Phil couldn’t even began to not believe him in that moment. Later, he knew, he’d ask for proof, some kind of visual aid that would show Phil that Dan really was leaving Kate for Phil, but for right now, he could do nothing but believe.

“We’ve been fighting since we got married, you know that, Phil,” Dan whispered, shuffling forward on his knees to get closer to Phil, gaze steady on Phil’s blue one. “Vicious, horrible fights, and I know that you think I’ve been sleeping with her for just as long as I’ve been sleeping with you, but those cuts and bruises on my back have never been from sex, and I’ve asked you to take them over a thousand times so I could remember what it was like to feel loved, rather than attacked,” he explained, eyes starting to well with tears so real, Phil could do nothing but believe him.

His breathing hitched as he realized just how bad things had gotten with Kate that she would intentionally hit Dan, and Phil reached up with shaking hands to cover his mouth, slowly shaking his head.

Dan’s soft smile started to fade.

“I know - I know this might be hard to believe, Phil, all of it, when I’ve been keeping so much from you, but I’ve never once lied to you. I love you with my whole heart, more than I ever thought I could love. You taught me what love was, Phil, and I - well, the divorce hasn’t been finalized yet of course, and Kate’s been staying with her mother so that I could move out soon, but… I want to marry you, Phil. When all is said and done, I want to move out with you, and I want to build a new life together, and I want to tether myself to you in a way that says that we are forever. I know that me and Kate didn’t work out, but I _know_ that you and I will, so… Phil… Phil will you marry me?”

And Phil couldn’t help himself anymore than he ever could with Dan when he fell into Dan’s arms the second the words were out of his mouth and the black ring box was pressed open, exposing a rose gold band with three diamonds inlaid in the middle ready for Phil to wear. He whispered a jumbled yes that sounded more like a sob, and he pressed sloppy kisses to the side of Dan’s neck, and he undressed him so fast that Dan actually laughed as Phil made sure to make love to Dan right then and there on the hotel floor.


End file.
